Chemical components once precisely in place now lost to the elements. They don't know where to go on their own, and I don't know where to put them, because for me there was only ever one solution. The formula may have wrong, but I was sure it was right. The energy produced could fuel an entire metropolis. It may have been combustable, but I knew how to contain it. Now, without it, this city is dark.

Most days there is light, but those are the days when I'm consciously trying not to dwell on it and living my life as I'm expected to do. Other days it can't be helped and on those days I'd prefer not to be seen. Wouldn't you know it, though? Those always seem to be the days I'm wearing my lighted neon sign that blinks "Ask Me How I Am" in three different hues. You should know very well to say away at that time. I have been working on a "Caution" sign, but I always seem to misplace it when I'm pms-ing. That, and I don't really want you to stay away.

It's become a habit to check my cellphone regularly, say, once every hour. It starts with a glance at the display to see if I've missed a call, then I'll dial my voice mail just to make sure something wasn't wrong with the display. Then, I might go into the menu and check the last 10 calls I've received. I know I should cut it out, I'm wearing out the poor phone's hinges.

I can't really shouldn't write unrequited love letters anymore.