urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lewis_juliette Juliette Lewis Juliette Lewis 2005-04-13T20:27:27Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lewis_juliette:6032 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z 2005-04-13T20:27:27Z It's official. Germans love me like Hasselhoff. Many are pretty surprised to find out my speaking voice is deeper than they have been led to believe. I guess all the German talent they use to dub my movies have these light, airy, Marilyn Monroe voices. It's strange to hear, but it makes <i>The Other Sister</i> knee-slapping, fall-on-the-floor hilarious to watch.<br /><br />I'm currently in Glasgow at the moment, practicing my Shrek impression. Three more European dates to go, and I am so outta here you don't even know. You don't even <i>want</i> to know. Not that I don't love the European audience, or their exotically-flavored rice cakes, but it's been a long time since I've been home. Then again, I'm getting so used to this ramblin' lifestyle, I'm starting to feel like a woman without a home. A loner, Dottie. A rebel. Plus, I miss all my other loner, rebel friends. I especially miss that guy. I call him Killer, 'cause he slays me. <br /><br />I believe I promised pr0n last time, and you shall have it. But give me a few days to recover from feeling like I've been gargling with razor blades. There's nothing more unsexy and unhot than typing smut while feeling like Bette Davis--an eighty-year-old nearly mummifed Bette, that is. I think it would go something like this:<br /><br />"I remember it was 1937. I was coming out of the Columbia Studios commissary and heading towards the backlot when I heard him call my name. I turned. Our eyes met, and the intense passion that had been simmering between us bubbled up in our chests like a roughly shaken bottle of sarsparilla. We ran to each other, and ducking behind a dumpster, we had relations. And that was the last time I ever saw Shemp from the Three Stooges..."<br /><br />Sorry about that.